So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Be still, my beating vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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