You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize