Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
