My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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