I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
