I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize