I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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