please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
