I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
