He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
