Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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