Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
