I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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