You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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