Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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