Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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