Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
