I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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