...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
