Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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