At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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