Dual....:-)
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
