Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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