wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
