I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
