all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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