good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
