quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you inspire me to be a worse person
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
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I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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