yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
