And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
