THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
