Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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