New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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