Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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