I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it hurts more in the daytime
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I did not marry a roomba.
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