..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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