plz talk dirty to me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
