Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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