dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize