She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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