just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
