After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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