you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Randomize
