This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize