playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
