I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
