Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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