# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
