I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
