I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
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Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
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When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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