East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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