Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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