I wanna bring you to show and tell
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My dick has a subreddit
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
