Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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