And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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