Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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