it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
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Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
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How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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