Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
