Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
