she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
pop tarts are not kleenex
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize