Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
