Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
