Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It's just like the Real World with babies
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
