Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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